Never Let Me Go
by CaelestisImperfectum
Summary: All Amanda Clark ever wanted was to exonerate her father. She changed her name and found a way to get near her father's murders. Now that she knows her mother's alive she wants to find her. But what happens when she finds out she's pregnant? Revenge has never been more complicated for Emily Thorne.
1. Chapter 1

_N/A: So this story is going to take place right after the end of the season finale. I love this show! And I do firmly believe Emily and Daniel are perfect together. So yes I was bummed with the fact that season 2 their not together so I decided to go ahead and write this. Oh! Hey before I forget I'm adding my own character in the mix, and that's just not only to help the story along, but because I think Emily Thorne, aka Amanda Clark will need an ally in this crazy journey I'm setting her on! Enjoy! :)_

**Summary: All Amanda Clark ever wanted was to exonerate her father. She changed her name and found a way to get near her father's murders. Now that she knows her mother's alive she wants to find her. But what happens when she finds out she's pregnant? Revenge has never been more complicated for Emily Thorne. Disclaimer: I do not own Revenge or its character! This is done all done strictly for enjoyment not for profit, so read enjoy and relax for a little bit.**

I clutched my abdomen as I waited for the pain to subside.

"Em, are you ok?" Nolan asked as he leaned down to help me back up. I wanted to tell him I was fine but the truth was that this wasn't the first time I was in pain.

"Yeah, it doesn't hurt anymore." I answered letting him help me up. I knew it was time to visit a doctor and find out what was wrong with me.

"Are you sure Em, cause this isn't this isn't the first time I see you hold yourself. I think you need to see a doctor." He answered looking at me with concern and worry. Nolan was one of the only people in the world that knew the truth about my identity, but he was there was only one other person in the world that I considered a friend.

"I was just thinking the same thing." I answered as I reached for my phone and dialed in a number without thinking twice.

"Dr. Avery." The voice answered, I knew that she hadn't thought to look at the name on her phone as she knew very limited people had this number.

"Hello Savannah." I answered knowing that she was most likely still angry about the fact that I hadn't spoken to her in a little over 9 months.

"Emi?" I laughed a little as she gasped into the phone.

"Hey Vans, how are you?" I whispered into the phone as I sat down, knowing Nolan was looking at we.

"It's been 10 FREAKING MONTHS! And all you can say is HOW ARE YOU!? You've got to be kidding me. Where the hell have you been, and don't say that a monthly e-mail is a good enough excuse. I'm of half a mind to march over to wherever you are and kick your ass Thorne!" she said as she finished yelling at me. "Now tell me, when can I see you? Where are you? And are you ok?" she said as I smiled trying not to laugh at the outrage in her voice. I knew I had so much to tell and explain. She was the only person I didn't tell Takata about. She knew the truth of everything and after years of friendship we had finally perfected a secret language, code for everything I need to tell her. She was always the first to kick my ass into gear, or tell me something was stupid but she supported me all the way and was there for whatever fall out. She was my deepest darkest secret, and I didn't want anyone to know about her in case they tried to use her, but there was no one I trusted more.

"I really have missed you." I sighed. "I'm in the Hamptons, who soon can you be here?" I answered trying not to worry her.

"Emi what's wrong? Don't you dare tell me anything, I know that's not true." She answered and I could almost feel her worry rolling off her.

"That's why I'm calling. I'm not sure what's wrong. I haven't been feeling well I have some abdominal pain and I sometimes have motion sickness, or I'll feel light headed." I answered trying to ignore Nolan's irritated expression as he realized the symptoms were worse than I had admitted.

"I'll catch the first flight out of here. I'll try and be there as soon as I can. How long have you felt this way Emi?" she asked. I knew she was worried and that as soon as she hung up she'd transfer all her patients and she'd clear her surgical schedule. She was the world greatest and youngest heart surgeon of our time. She took her job seriously, but I knew she would do everything in her power to help me, no matter the cost.

"It wasn't bad at first maybe a month, but it got bad this past week." I answered, knowing she would lay into me for neglecting my health. "But I think it might have gotten worse with the news of Victoria." I add.

"I see," she said quietly. I knew she was thinking of everything that could cause this to me. "I heard that."

"Em, tell her that as soon as she's ready I can have a private jet ready for her and bring her straight here." Nolan interjected as he looked at me. I smiled and mouthed 'thank you'

"Vans, look I can have a private jet ready to bring you hear as soon as you're ready to come." I said with a sigh knowing she was already looking for a flight.

"That's perfect Emi. Tell Nolan thank you on my behalf. I'll tell the chief that I need leave and that if he can contact anyone in the Hampton's to let me use their facilities for your medical exams. I don't think there'll be a problem and if there is I'm friends with the chief of one of the New York hospitals." She said as I heard her gathering paper work. "I'll be there soon ok Emi. Be sure to not stress out too much, or do anything that accelerates your heart rate or do any heavy lifting. Wait. You know what as your doctor I'm ordering bed rest till I get there and then I'm taking you straight to the hospital for examination." She answered.

"Ok. Let me know when you land. Nolan and me will pick you up." I answered smiling. I knew that she would be here soon she was an attending at Boston Mercy Hospital.

"Ok. Oh, and Emi?" she said into the phone before I hung up.

"Yes?" I answered, knowing that I was luck she hadn't laid into me for neglecting my health and our friendship.

"Be careful, don't do anything stupid till after I get there." She snapped into my phone.

"Wouldn't dream of it Vans. Bye." I answered.

"Alright then. Bye Emi." She answered as we hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

_N/A: Read. Enjoy! Oh and review. Thanks! _

**Summary: All Amanda Clark ever wanted was to exonerate her father. She changed her name and found a way to get near her father's murders. Now that she knows her mother's alive she wants to find her. But what happens when she finds out she's pregnant? Revenge has never been more complicated for Emily Thorne. Disclaimer: I do not own Revenge or it's character! This is done all done strictly for enjoyment not for profit, so read enjoy and relax for a little bit. **

Change. Strange that change is the only thing we know for certain in life. It's bound to happen eventually. The only question is, what do we do when change finally come knocking at our door? do we let it in, or do we shape it to our liking?

"So you want to tell me who that was? And why haven't I met her? Or better yet why haven't I heard of her before know?" Nolan asked as he sat on the couch next to me.

"She's a friend Nolan." I answered not wanting to really talk about her.

"I thought I was your only friend." He mumbled, looking a bit hurt.

"Nolan…" I couldn't find the words. "Look you're my friend as well, but I wanted to keep her safe and out of this. She's been through so much, and I just wanted to protect her." I answered truthfully.

"Well, I can't wait to meet her." He answered. All I did was smile, knowing that if he said or did anything she'd take him out before he could even blink.

"So her plan should be landing any moment, you ready?" Nolan asked as we stood against his car waiting for the plan to finish landing.

"_Are you serious?" she asked as we jogged along the beach. "I get it. Ok. I do. But you want revenge not justice Manda. I'm with you no matter what happens. Just don't lose yourself on this quest for 'justice' we both know its revenge." She said looking at me then smiling a sad smile._

"_You don't have to be a part of it. But I want them to pay." I answered._

"_I know. I'm not leaving you. You ready for all of this? I mean changing your name, and everything it entitles?" she asked as she looked at me._

"_Yes." I answered knowing that this was going to change everything._

"_Alright then." She nodded. "I hope Emily says yes. I'll be sure to find you a new nick name." she said smiling and winking as she took off a little faster._

"Wow." Was all I heard from Nolan as he took her in for the first time, in all her glory. Her emerald green yes catching mine as the wind caught her long wavy raven black hair. I knew she could stop hearts and I knew she had a passion for holding them in her hand, literally. As she made her way to us I pushed off the car and met her.

"Vans." I said as I hugged her tightly.

"Emi." She whispered as she hugged me just as hard back. I heard Nolan clear his throat, waiting to be introduced.

"Vans, there's someone I want you to meet." I said as I stepped out of our embraced and walked her over to Nolan. "Vans, this is Nolan Ross, Nolan this is Savannah Avery." I said as they shook hands and smiled at each other.

"May I say I never knew Em had such beautiful friends." Nolan said with a smile.

"Thank you. It's good to finally meet you." She said with a smile. Before he could answer she turned to me. "Now I already arranged everything. Let's go. I want to examine you as soon as I can. So as in yesterday, basically." She said as she looked at us waiting to her an argument. "Ok then, let's go."

"So I ran a few test and I had them put in as urgent." She said looking at me then back at the results. "Emi." She said and sighed, looking back at me.

"Just tell me Vans." I said a little worried, but I was a master of my emotions, so I just looked at her.

"Emily, your pregnant." She answered. .No. This could not be happening.

"I'm...I…No." I stuttered.

"Emily, your almost 2 months pregnant." She answered looking more like a doctor then my friend. This couldn't be happening. She had to find her mother, finish what she started with the Greysons. This wasn't her life. She never imagined it would be like this. Not yet. Whenever she imagined a future, it was with Jack, and her father was exonerated. Everything was wrong. If she was pregnant…oh God. This couldn't be happening. This baby was Daniel's. This was never part of the plan. "Miss Thorne." The voice cut through her inner turmoil.

"Savannah." I whispered a little scared. I had to figure out my next move.

"No. Absolutely not. I know exactly what you're thinking and NO. Do I make myself clear?" I could tell Vans was waiting for an answer and that nothing would change her mind on that.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered. I knew that this explained a lot about my emotions lately.

"First off you're going to calm down. Secondly you're going to clear May 30th through June 2nd off, that by the way is when the little nugget is do. Thirdly you're going to tell me whether or not you want to tell Daniel. Lastly but most importantly you WILL NOT shut me out and or knowing you do something risky and stupid while in this condition."

"Ok. No, I won't tell Daniel yet it not time." I answered as she let Nolan in.

"So what's the verdict?" he asked looking at me.

"Emily is pregnant." Vans answered without so much as a blink or a stutter.

"Wait what?" he asked a little shocked. "So does that mean you're not going to look for your mother?" he said as he was trying to recover from the initial shock.

"I'm leaving tonight. I can't have them know about this yet, it's not time. As for looking for my mother, that's still my plan." I answered. They say that there is a season for everything, and that everything happens for a reason. I only hope there right. This won't be easy and I don't think it's going to get any easier. I know I don't want my child to be anywhere near the Grayson's, and I also know that I want this baby my baby to know the truth about his grandfather, and I want it to meet its grandmother.

_N/A: So I still haven't decided if it should be a boy or a girl. So leave your thought and or opinions!_


	3. Chapter 3

_N/A: Ok bear with me on this, but I'm making it look like she took off in November meaning she got pregnant around the time of her engagement party. Ok, now that I've explained that may the story continue! (The story will have similarities to the second season, just so you know)_

**Summary: All Amanda Clark ever wanted was to exonerate her father. She changed her name and found a way to get near her father's murders. Now that she knows her mother's alive she wants to find her. But what happens when she finds out she's pregnant? Revenge has never been more complicated for Emily Thorne. Disclaimer: I do not own Revenge or its character! This is all done strictly for enjoyment not for profit, so read enjoy and relax for a little bit.**

"_The more you love, the more love you have to give. It's the only feeling we have which is infinite._" – Christina Westover.

_Six Months later _"

Infinity times infinty. That is how much my father loved me. That is how much and how long I will love my baby. I would do anything for him, maybe Vans is right I should stay away, but than i know how much i loved my father, and I realize that that is how much Daniel will love him as well.

"Are you sure about this Emi?" Vans asked a little worriedly. "I mean we can raise him out in Boston. Or anywhere in the world you want. You don't have to go back."

"I know but I want to. I want him to have the opportunity to meet his father. I want to be able to answer him with complete honesty when he asks me about him. I want to be able to tell him I fought for him, that I did everything in my power. I don't want him to think that I robbed him of the opportunity to meet him." I answered. I knew she didn't understand. Sometimes I didn't understand my reasoning but I just knew I had to go back.

"Emi." She sighed in frustration as she searched for words. "Why are you going back exactly? You told Daniel. He chose to not be a part of this. I know you want him to be happy and have the chance at a family, but weren't you the one saying a while back that Daniel was turning into everything he said he'd never be, a true Grayson. And isn't that exactly what you want to protect him from? I don't get it. Unless…" she looked up at me as if trying to solve a riddle. "You love him. You love Daniel Grayson." She let out a bit shocked and pissed.

"Vans." I said making her calmed down. "You know better than I do that I never really told him. I left and sent him a letter telling him, and when I didn't hear from him I let us take off from Boston." I sighed a bit irritated, wasn't she the one always telling me a letter really wasn't the way to tell him? "I know that he was becoming a Grayson. Ok, I know." I snapped. I looked out the window; I knew part of me missed the Daniel at the beginning of the summer last year, the Daniel that was trying to be a better man. I may never say it out loud, but I fell in love with that Daniel. The one that he had become at the end was the one I wanted to keep from my daughter. But at the same time I wanted to prove that he was still there and that he could come back to me.

"Fine. We'll go back. You can give birth there and set things straight with Daniel." She snapped getting up off the couch. "But let me tell you something Emily Thorne. You are now responsible for the wellbeing of that little boy. So I hope you know what you're doing. This isn't a game; this is going to change his life. I sure as hell don't agree with this, but you're too damn stubborn to listen to anything once you have your mind set. So I'll be there for both of you, because you're my family, which means that little boy is my family as well. So don't do anything stupid." She looked like she was ready to throttle me as she slammed the door closed. I knew this was dangerous, I knew I had something so important to lose. I just wanted her to know that I tried. That's all. Why was that so hard to understand? Things are never simple and easy it's hard and complicated, I know that.

_3 Months earlier_

"_Hey Emi, whatcha doing?" Vans asked as she got back from the hospital. I knew she was tired, but she always stayed and talked to me when she got home. _

"_I'm telling Daniel." I responded as I tucked my letter into the envelope and wrote on his address. _

"_Good. So when are you going out to meet him?" She asked, while scouring the fridge looking for something light to eat._

"_I'm not." I said quietly. _

"_But-" she began as she turned to face me._

"_I wrote him a letter telling him everything about the baby and-" I took a deep breath as I rubbed my belly. "- I asked him to meet me in a week at the café a block from here." I knew that there would always be a chance he wouldn't show up, especially after Charlotte told me about Daniel and Ashley. It hurt to know he had so easily replaced me, even if Charlotte said that wasn't the case at all. _

"_A letter?" I could hear the shock and disapproval in those two words. "Emi, that's not telling him, that's more like throwing a grenade into a wall, cause you weren't even looking!" _

I heard the door open, I knew she wanted to protect me and the baby but I wanted her with me on this. "I know your just looking out for us Vans, I get that. Thank you." I said knowing she was standing there.

"Yeah, well your welcome." She snapped. "So when do you want to go back?" she asked. Going back seemed so different now, the last time I was there all I wanted was revenge. I wanted the people who framed my father to pay for what they did. I had found love, hatred, betrayal, and amazingly family. I hadn't lost contact with Charlotte; I had made sure she was alright and that she knew me and the baby were ok.

"Right now would be perfect actually." I said knowing we hadn't unpacked yet. "Let's go pick up Nolan." I said as turned to face her. She looked at me and sighed.

"Ok hurry your pregnant ass up." She said while trying not to smile. She knew that I already had a plan in mind.

"So do you want help getting the bags into the car again?" I asked as I made my way to the door.

"No." she looked away. "I had a feeling you wouldn't want to stay her for more than a couple of hours-" she looked at me a bit smugly. "So I left the suitcases in the car." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well let's get going than." I said smiling as she opened the door.

As we walked into the boxing gym everyone looked as we walked by. I wasn't sure if they were looking at me because I was pregnant or if they were being sidetracked by Vans. We spotted Nolan boxing over in one of the rings towards the end. "Steady." "Good go around Soft Paws." A man said as he hit Nolan in the back. "Tomorrow?" he asked as Nolan nodded in understanding.

"Soft Paw is it?" I said as I looked up to him and Vans stepped onto the ring, leaning against the ropes.

"Prisoner was already taken, plus you know I bruise easily." He said as he turned to look at me, slowly walking over to Vans, smiling like a fool.

"Always thinking. Hello Nolan." I answered, trying not to laugh as he and Vans just looked at each other. He turned to look at me, smiling.

"Ems. Vanaha. Where the hell have you been?" he snapped as he slipped out of the ring and help Vans down, though she probably didn't need his help.

"Regrouping." I answered, not wanting to go into detail.

"Really?" he answered, in a bit of shock. "8 weeks no word. I was beginning to think I would never see you guy's again." he said, I could tell he was a bit hurt about that fact. We started to make our way to the door.

"So boxing I'm impressed." I said truly impressed, but trying to avoid any major questions in the process. I could tell Vans was letting us catch up by just walking and not saying anything yet.

"And weight training-" he said as he smiled and danced around me to get to the other side of Vans. "And karate." He said very proud of himself. "You never know when a white haired maniac will pop out of the shadow with a knife, gun, shoe bomb." He said off handedly as he waved his gloved hand in the air. "Unless,-" he looked at me closely, looking a bit worried. "-you finished the job. Did you?" I couldn't help but smile; I had missed Nolan more than I would admit to anyone.

"My priorities have shifted. Care to go for a drive?" I said knowing that he would come along. He turned to look at me.

"Sounds vaguely revengy, where too?" he said as he walked backwards so he could look at both of us. I didn't know if he could tell the displeasure that was rolling off Vans.

"Don't encourage her please." Vans muttered as she looked at him.

"Back to the Hamptons." I answered smiling.

The whole drive there was filled with questions on my well-being, and the baby's. He asked if I had picked out a name, or if I was waiting. He asked when I was due, and if Daniel had spoken to me yet. I answered all those questions with ease. However as soon as he asked where I'd been the last 8 weeks things got a little messy. I told him a bit about my visit with Taketa, and how that front had gone, while trying to explain that Vans wanted to kill me for letting him know I was pregnant. We got out of the car and made our way to the beach house as Vans informed him a bit more about Taketa and what he had done along with our suspicions that he was involved in what happened with my mother.

"So Taketa, was behind in Amanda's return, baby bump included?" He asked as we opened the house and got slowly started to uncover the furniture. Before I could answer, I saw Vans give him a death glare. "Kidding." He said as he raised his hands trying to prove he didn't mean anything by it.

"He claims he was training her to be Emi's ally." Vans answered as she looked back at me.

"What do you mean claims? You still trust him don't you?" He asked a bit worried. I knew very few people understood, but I trusted almost no one. Not after everything I learned.

"Until I find out what happened to my mother I don't trust anybody." I answered as I heard Vans snort at that.

"Well at least you can cross the Grayson's off your to screw list. Conrad's been buried under a cloud of suspicion ever since Victoria's plane crash destroyed all the evidence the CC had against him." Nolan stated as he took my laptop from me and helped me into a chair.

"Well not quite, seeing as how you have the evidence backed up but can't seem to finish decrypting and finding it all." Vans answered as she went to sit on the table.

"I'm trying." Nolan answered as he looked around the house. "Ems, how many guest rooms do you have?" he asked suddenly. I couldn't help but get a bit nervous.

"Cause, casa Nolan is in escrow." He said looking at me and smiling.

"You sold your house?" I answered a bit taken aback.

"Bad mojo." Both Vans and Nolan answered at the same time, causing them both to laugh. He looked back to me and smiled.

"If-" He said turning to look from me back to Vans and winking. "If I'm going to be your wing man this summer-" I cut him off quickly as I realized where he was going with this.

"No."

"Gee, thanks for mulling that over." He said a little hurt as I continued to type.

"Don't worry about it Nol, we'll find you a place." Vans said winking back at him.

"Nol?" He asked a bit confused.

"I like giving out nicknames, when I like people. So yea, Nol." She answered smiling a bit.

"I told you, it was real!" I snapped, as I found the hospital.

"What's this?" Nolan asked as he looked over my shoulder. "Angel of Mercy Hospital." He read.

"Its 25 miles north from where my parents grew up. A dummy investment group bought and shut it down in August of 93 only two days after my father was arrested." I answered.

"And the plot curdles." He said as he moved away from me.

"We'll, as in Nol and me, as you sit here and rest ok." Vans said more than asked.

"Ok, I'll take care of the house while you guys go." I said a little reluctantly knowing she wouldn't let me go.

"Ok. Now Nol, let's get going." She said as she left. While I get the house ready.

"You think she's going to freak a bit when she finds this out?" I heard Nolan ask as he walked towards the door.

"Oh, I think it's going to bug the hell out of her. I'm only worried it will affect her condition." Vans replied as she opened the door.

"So what did you guys find?" I asked as I started to get up off the couch. They looked at each other than back at me and sighed.

"Ems, I found the visitors log. Your dad came to see her the week he was arrested. And before that some woman named Charlotte Clark." He said as he helped he move to the table, not that I need the help but I knew he was trying.

"That doesn't make sense aunt Charlotte had Parkinson's she was down in Florida by then." I answered as I tried to reason out what this could mean.

"Then who?" he asked a little confused.

"Who else?" I asked rhetorically.

"Victoria Grayson." Vans said her name like a curse as she looked at me.

"It's Victoria's handwriting alright." Nolan said as he compared her handwriting.

"WE know that Nol. The question is what did she want?" Vans sneered.

"I need to figure out what happened." I said mostly to myself.

"Emi, no. This isn't revenge anymore its suicide, you're pregnant." Vans said as she looked over at me. "So let this go. We'll find her ok, in time. But for now you have to let this go. You promised that you would help Charlotte a long with promising to think of the baby before anyone else. So here's the test of honesty. What's more important revenge, or your family?" I knew better than anyone she had me cornered. I wanted to find my mother and punish those who hurt her, but at the same time I knew that I couldn't risk my baby. I held onto my belly and sighed a bit in defeat. "Look, I'm going to investigate. But I won't do anything drastic that can hurt me or the little guy." I answered.

"Ugh! You never listen." She huffed. "So how are you going to get close to the Grayson's if he won't talk to you?" she challenged.

"He's not the only way in." I answered. "Coming?" I said to her. She nodded and got up looking at me.

"Stay out of trouble while I'm gone." I said as I looked over to Nolan.

"You mean I can stay?" Nolan asked with a smile.

"Don't get too comfortable." I answered as we left.

"I'll drive." Vans said as we sat in the car. "So I'm guessing were on our way to Charlotte?" she asked.

"Yes." I nodded. "I know I said that I was done with all the scheming and the fighting. And I am, but Vans I want to see my mom. I want to know what happened to her." I said looking over to her as we drove off.

"I know, so I'm helping you. But when, not if, but when you've gone too far. I'm going to make you stop. Not just for your sake, but for the baby's as well." She said as we drove. "So does she know? About the baby?" she asked.

"Yes she knows. She always likes having pictures of my ultra sounds. I send them with the postcards." I said smiling as I rubbed my belly. "You ready to meet your aunty baby?" I said smiling. Vans laughed a little as we drove. My baby boy was my world. I knew he was everything good, I just wished that it would be enough to make sure he didn't follow my path. Maybe Vans a bit right, if I didn't stop now in the long run I would lose him and that would break my heart.

"I'll wait here while you go inside." Vans said as she smiled at me, we were less than a block away.

"Thanks Vans." I smiled as I got out of the care and made my way to the rehab center. I was nervous, but in a good way. I was excited to see Charlotte; she was my sister after all. But at the same time I felt guilty for using her. "Hi, I'm here to see Charlotte Grayson." I said to the receptionist."

"Emily!" I heard someone say from behind me. I turned to see Charlotte walking over to me in a hurry.

"Charlotte." She hugged me as soon as she reached me, and I couldn't help but hug her back. "You look great!" I said as I took her in.

"Thank you, but look at you. Pregnancy made you even more beautiful." She said smiling and putting her hand on my belly. "Doctor Thomas, this is Emily Thorne. She's the one that's been sending me those post cards from all around the world, and of course the pictures of my future nephew." She said proudly, to her doctor who looked me over.

"Oh." He said in recognition. "They both have meant so much to Charlotte as you can tell." He said smiling towards her.

"I'm so sorry about your mother." I said knowing I had sent her a letter and kept in touch, but it wasn't the same as saying it in person.

"I know, it still unreal." She said with misty eyes. "I hope you can come to the memorial. Unless…I mean if it's too awkward with Daniel and Ashley." She said looking nervous. "You have a right to be there along with my nephew no matter what Daniel has decided. I would like you to be there for me too." she said quietly.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but if were planning on sticking with your release schedule. We still have one last blood drop." The doctor said looking between us.

"Ok. Please stay in touch, I've missed you Emily." She said as walked away.

"Of course, bye Charlotte." I answered. I made my way out of the rehab center and went to the car.

"How'd it go?" Vans asked as I stepped back into the car. I knew I looked a bit sad, yet a little happy.

"She's doing well, I can tell." I said happily as I buckled in and laid my hand on top of my belly. "She asked me to go to the Memorial." I said quietly.

"Which is what you wanted. Isn't it?" Vans said looking over towards me. "It is but I'm still a little worried." I said honestly.

"It'll be ok, you have Nol and me as back up and of course you have Charlie." She said smiling.

"Charlie?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well yeah, in a way she's my family too even if she doesn't know it yet." She said smiling. We pulled into the pier near Jack and I turned to look at her.

"Why are we here?" I asked a little irritated.

"You know why don't play dumb." She snapped. "So get off and tell 'Amanda' thanks, but no thanks. Cut your ties with her. You and I know both she's a bottle of trouble." She said waiting to see if I'd challenge the statement. I nodded as I made my way over.

We do things out of love, to protect those that mean the most to us. but what happens when that love has grown to consume someone, making them twisted? When that person uses love as a justification for the actions that hurts others?

_N/A: For those who started reading this, when I first posted this story, sorry. I realized i posted the wrong copy so I had to change that. Enjoy! Review, thanks. _


	4. Chapter 4

_N/A: The story already has an ending, so I'm kind of working backwards *guilty smile*. I promise to update as soon as I can, most of the chapters (Up to 6 really) are already written, it's more like I have to go over them and make sure the story is moving at a good pace, so enjoy!_

**Summary: All Amanda Clark ever wanted was to exonerate her father. She changed her name and found a way to get near her father's murders. Now that she knows her mother's alive she wants to find her. But what happens when she finds out she's pregnant? Revenge has never been more complicated for Emily Thorne. Disclaimer: I do not own Revenge or its character! This is done all done strictly for enjoyment not for profit, so read enjoy and relax for a little bit.**

_"She didn't need to understand the meaning of life; it was enough to find someone who did, and then fall asleep in his arms and sleep as a child sleeps, knowing that someone stronger than you is protecting you from all evil and all danger."―Paulo Coelho_

As I a little girl I use to dream of princess and prince's, of dragons and champions. Now I realize that as children were protected by those who know the cruelty the world is capable of. They show us the meaning of love and protection, when you told them you thought there was a monster under your bed. . But there is no real one person who can shield you away from the real monsters in the world. They're those that pretend to be friends, or good people, only waiting to take everything from those who would be real champions.

"Come in." I heard Amanda say quietly after I knocked on the door. I opened the door as she stood holding a baby. "Emily." She said and walked over. "I knew you couldn't stay away from us. Here I want you to meet David." She said coming closer to me. I looked over at him, and smiled. This was her baby that had my father's name, which she had with my childhood champion. I moved aside to doge her. "Wait." She looked at me in shock. "When?" I knew she was talking about my baby. But she wasn't someone I wanted in his life.

"How could I. When we have so much to talk about." I said looking away from the baby knowing it was time to cut ties with her, before she could hurt my baby.

"I know Taketa debriefed me. I'm here to help." she said as she looked at me with a smile on her face as she rocked her baby, thinking I was here to be friends.

"I know you want to help, but I'm on a different path." I answered.

"Wow back five seconds and you're already trying to push me away." She snapped starling the baby a bit. "Except this time I'm not going anywhere. Jack and I are in this together, for reals this time." She said turning over to the bed so she could sit there with the baby. I tried not to laugh; we both knew it couldn't be real.

"He thinks you're me, Amanda, how real could it be?" I asked rhetorically.

"Plenty now that the baby is here." She said her anger turning into fury. "And don't forget if he knows the truth about me, then _everyone _knows the truth about _you_." I knew that, this was her threat. "And I doubt that, that is what you want for your baby." Before I could responded the door opened.

"Amanda-" it was Jack, slowly peeking through the door. "Emily." He said a bit shocked. "What are you doing here? Oh, wow. Here let me help you sit down or something. I remember Amanda was always tired when she was pregnant." he said taking in my belly. He moved towards me, but I put up my hand to stop him.

"Don't worry Jack, I like walking around it's good for me and the baby." I said smiling to him.

"Oh. Ok. So what brings you around here?" he said looking uncomfortable.

"I was just saying hello to Amanda and the new baby. Amanda, should I tell him? Or should you?" I said looking at her. The baby started to cry as she tried to make hi stop by rocking him back and forth.

"Go for it." She said as Jack took the baby into his arms. As if that was all he needed the baby settled down.

"What's wrong?" he asked a bit worried.

"Amanda just asked me to be the baby's Godmother." I answered knowing that was the opposite of what I wanted but the only way to ensure she didn't hurt my baby in anyway.

"Oh." Was all he answered looking a bit shocked. I could tell Amanda was seething at the way it had played out. But I wasn't about to let her win.

"I should get going." I said smiling at both of them.

"Let me walk you to your car. I don't think its safe, being pregnant and all." He said as he gave the baby back to Amanda.

"No Jack its fine. Savannah is out in the car waiting for me, so I'll be ok." I answered. "Congratulations on the beautiful baby." I said as I made way out of the room and towards the exit.

"How'd it go?" Vans asked as soon as she spotted me. "Here let me help you." She said as we made our way back to the car.

"Not the way I hoped. She isn't going to leave, but maybe she'll leave me alone for now." I said as I got into the car.

"Have you decided what the plan is? Are we going to the Memorial or are we going to wait?" Vans asked as she took us back to the beach house.

"I think it's time I faced Daniel." I said looking out towards the sea.

_4 months earlier Pairs, France_

"_Whether or not I feel like it it's none of your business. I have no reason to trust you Aiden. You betrayed me, and I don't want you to be a part of this." I snapped into my phone. "I don't want time. I want to be left alone, ok? I'll go back when I'm ready. Too much has changed." I said before I closed my phone not waiting for a reply as I sat down and took in the beautiful city of Paris. "Mama's going to take good care of you baby." I whispered as I looked down at my small belly. _

"_¿__Puis-je__vous aider avec__madame__quoi que ce soit?"__A young man said as he looked at me, I knew was asking me what he could get me. but I had just realized that I hadn't even open the menu yet. So I decided water would be fine. _

"_Juste un__verre d'eau__." I answered and smiled. As he took off, I let my hand rest on top of my small belly. I was almost 4 months pregnant. Pairs was beautiful. I knew I need time to myself. To think if all of this was worth it, I wanted to give my baby a home. But I didn't know if I could be with Daniel, when he was turning into the type of people who took my father away from me. I knew my baby had a right to a family, but I had never been so scared. The waiter placed the glass in front of me and smiled. _

"_Merci beaucoup." I said as he smiled and walked away. I should go back and tell him, I know I should. But I can't, not yet. I picked up my pen and began to write another postcard to her as I sat there looking at the beauty that was downtown Paris. Sometime thing don't happen as you expect them to. I fell in love with Daniel Grayson despite his name. I fell for the man I saw he was, and the potential to be a better man. Yet here I was, realizing a little late that I had a hand in helping him become a true Grayson, even if I hadn't meant to. _

"You ready to go, or are we just going to sit in this car looking at that boat all day?" Vans asked as I realized I had let my time slip away from me.

"Yes let's go." I answered as we got out of the car.

"Emi, Nol and I will walk in a bit behind you, so you know you have a chance to make your appearance and presence known." Vans said as she looked at me and smiled. She looked great in that red dress, that I gave to her. I knew she dressed me in white on purpose. She said I'd look like an angel in such a simple yet it made me feel right at home. So much of my wardrobe had changed since I got pregnant. everyone said I looked well for being almost 9 months pregnant I was due soon, that much we all knew for sure. But Vans said that it could range for a week since I'm a first time mom.

"I looked up and saw Daniel take me in as I made my way to the boat. I could see disbelief and anger as well as hurt and sadness cross his face. I don't understand why but I knew he hadn't expected to see me. I saw Conrad make his way over to him as I stood walked over to Victoria's portrait. I could tell they were both looking at me and talking though I had an idea as to what was being said.

"Creepy. You think she's somewhere looking up at us." Nolan said as we stood in front of Victoria's portrait. Vans laughed and leaned into Nolan. That's when I realized they were holding hands. But before I could say anything Vans spoke.

"I hope not. I might have never met her but man she looks like a bitch. And I can't lie she looks scary." She said while shuddering. "Let's go make an entrance." She said looking at me to see if I was ok. I went ahead and walked in as I couldn't help but have a small feeling of déjà vu as I made my way in. the only difference was that Ashley now stood where Victoria once was. I wondered how she felt about my pregnancy, or if Daniel even told her. I made my way to her, I could tell she was nervous.

"Emily." She said looking at me and moving in to give me a hug I knew she was surprised, but she also seemed nervous. "What a surprise, I mean look at you." She said smiling.

"Charlotte invited me, I hope that's ok?" I said with a smile. I knew she didn't want me here, I just wasn't sure why.

"Of course. I've really missed you." She said as if she were a bit sad. She kept looking at my belly but she wasn't making any comment which was strange.

"Me too." I said as I put a hand on my belly, feeling him kick. It was almost as if he could tell Daniel was close by. I looked to see him making his way over to us at that very moment. He had a blank expression, but I could tell that he was hurt and happy all at the same time.

"Things have certainly changed in a year." I said looking at her, and I saw that guilty look on her face.

"Yes they have. Emily I am so sor-" she got cut off by Daniel as he put his arm around her waist.

"Hello Emily. You look well" He said looking at me with a glass of scotch in his hand. I could tell she looked a little sad, and I could tell he was trying to convince himself that it didn't matter that I was there. "How's Jack doing, with the excitement to be a father?" I could hear the venom in that last sentence.

"You too Daniel." I shook my head trying to understand his last sentence. "I'm sorry about your mother. I hoped I'd hear from you after my letter." I said quietly as he took a sip from his scotch.

"Ash, did we get a letter from Emily?" I could tell the surprise from his voice as he asked Ashley.

"Yes, um I must have missed placed it." she said smiling and looking even more nervous.

"As for Jack, I think him and Amanda couldn't be happier now that she had David." I said looking at him, wait to see his reaction.

"Amanda?" he asked even more confused as he let his arm slide off of Ashley's waist.

"Yes, you didn't know. Him and Amanda had a little boy his names David." I said looking at Daniel. Could it be that he really didn't know that I was pregnant? Before he could ask whatever he had on the tip of his tongue, I heard Nolan.

"Hello kids." He said as he stood next to me. "Water." He said as he handed me a glass.

"Thank you." I said as I took a sip and tried to calm my nerves. I didn't realize I was dizzy till I tilted to a side and Daniel had to grab and steady me.

"Are you ok?" he asked worry lacing though his voice as he looked at me. I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Emi, I think you need to sit down or something. You've had a couple of days, and I don't want you excreting yourself, it's not good for you or the baby." Van s said as she pulled Nolan with her to stand near Daniel. I could feel his hands burning into my arm and elbow as Daniel held me straight.

"And you are?" he asked politely as if trying to decide if what she was saying was useful or not.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm Savannah Avery." She said holding out her hand. Daniel took it into his, as he rearranged himself so his arm wrapped around my shoulders keeping me steady.

"Daniel Grayson." He said nicely with a smile. "Are you her doctor or friend?" he asked.

"Oh." She said looking at him with a bit of anger. "I'm both. I'm actually a cardiothoracic surgeon. But I've known Emi for a long time. So when she called I came and I've been her primary doctor on her pregnancy since we found out." She said crossing her arms over her chest, giving Daniel death glares. I knew he felt uncomfortable under that gaze; I had been on the receiving end before.

"Oh, and is everything alright. I mean is it normal that she just got dizzy?" he asked as he looked down at me and realized I was holding my belly.

"Daniel, I think that isn't really your place to ask." Ashley said quietly, while looking at him. In that instant I felt cold as his arm dropped from my shoulders.

"Actually-" I saw Vans was ready to throttle either one of them so I knew it was time to intervene.

"Vans." I said. She turned to face me and sighed as she understood.

"Maybe you just read the damn letter." She said and turned to go out to the deck leaving me with Nolan, Daniel and Ashley.

"Nolan." I said quietly as he helped me make my way to follower her.

"That went well." He said.

"Well?" I laughed as I went to stand next to Vans.

"He doesn't know does he?" Vans said as she saw Ashley start the tribute.

"No, I think Ashley hid it form him." I said listening to her talk.

"More like a rolling dervish in her grave." Nolan muttered.

"Really?" Vans snapped at him as if he didn't realize that he was being a dolt.

"What I was just stating the obvious." He answered , trying to see what he did wrong.

"But you interrupted the conversation that you should have been listening to." She said annoyed.

"Well someone had to act like they were paying attention." He answered.

"No one cares what British Barbie says." She hissed, I could tell they were getting ready to argue. I looked to see if anyone was listening when I saw charlotte on the stage speaking.

"Charlottes speaking." I whispered as she finished and made her way over to her father.

"It's going to be a long day." Vans said as she turned to look at Nolan.

"I'll go get refills." He said as he grabbed her empty Cosmo and took off.

"What are you-" she said as she looked after my gaze.

"That's impossible." Charlotte answered as she shook her head.

"That's ok Charlotte, we can get another test." The doctor said as he put away his phone. "But first we have to get you back to the center." He said grabbing her arm.

"No, there's been a mistake." She said as she tried to pull her arm free. "Stop it." she snapped at her Conrad as he tried to help the doctor take her away. "Let go of ME." she said turning around and looking at Conrad. "Dad you did this. You blew up that plane and now you're trying to keep me locket up." She accused him as Daniel tried to help take her off the boat.

"No, stop! EMILY!" She yelled getting free and running towards me. She wrapped her arms around me. "Help me Emily. Please. Mom said they want to take my money. They'll hurt me to get it she knows what their trying to do." she whispered as the doctor ripped her off me and took her away. I stood there trying to process everything that had happened.

"Oh, wait." I heard Nolan say as I was about to faint. "Vanaha." Nolan said as held onto me.

"Emily." She said as she took hold of my face. "Look at me." I opened my eyes and she nodded. "Let's get her home this is too much in her state." She said as she helped Nolan take me off the boat. I was trying to find my balance as I heard a man and a women arguing. I recognized Daniel's voice but I couldn't make out the other one.

"Careful Nolan." Vans snapped as I almost fell.

"Sorry." He muttered as he stopped and stood me up right. "You ok here Ems?" he asked. But before I could answer someone else did.

"Is she ok? Do you need some help?" Daniels voice cut through and I turned to look at him.

"Yes, it's just been a really long day and she needs to rest and get more food in her system. I think we can manage. But thanks." Vans answered as we walked away. I turned to see Daniel one last time, and I realized he was standing there looking over at me. As our eyes locked I realized he was still the Daniel I had been engaged to, he was just a little lost.

We don't always know what we're doing, but we learn to depend on other to help guard us. In the end we are all a little like children, wanting to find that safe heaven that our parents provide. But happens when it's gone? Well that's when you find out how strong you re, and how you begin to trust others to guard you when you can't do it yourself. I'm no longer a princess waiting for her prince to come and rescue her. I no longer fear the monsters underneath my bed. I'm now a warrior, which will fight the monsters underneath someone else's bed. I'm now someone else's champion. But the truth is, we all still need a champion at the end of the day.

_N/A: Review! Please (:_


	5. Chapter 5

_N/A: Thank you for all the reviews! Oh! Hey, before I forget, this chapter is in Daniel's point of view ;) _

"_**I looked and looked at her, and I knew, as clearly as I know that I will die, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth."**_

_**-Vladimir Nabokov**_

The first time I saw Emily Thorne I knew she was beautiful. The first time I talked to Emily Thorne I knew she was special. The first time I kissed Emily Thorne I knew I would never want to kiss another. The first time I bared my soul and fears to Emily Thorne I knew that she was my saving grace. The first time I made love to Emily Thorne I knew I found home. The first time I knew I loved Emily Thorne was simple it was the day that I looked in her eyes, and realized she didn't see a Grayson, she saw me, Daniel. That was the day that I knew that I would love her till the day I died. I wanted to be the man she saw. I wanted to have a family with her, grow old alongside her.

"Daniel." I could hear as Ash walked into my mother's room.

"The letter?" I asked not in the mood to really speak with her.

"I did what you asked Daniel. I told you she sent one after your mother died and you said you didn't want to hear from her. That same night you were completely bonkers. I knew it was hard for you. So I didn't pressure you to read it." she said quietly slowly making her way to me.

"I don't remember you telling me anything," I snapped unable to control my anger. I looked at her and I saw the hurt in her eyes, and part of me felt bad, for treating her like this after everything she had done for me these past months. But if what I was thinking was right, then Emily had told me she was pregnant, and if that was so I don't think I could ever forgive her. "I had a right to know, and you hid that from me ASH!" I yelled at her as I set down my glass of scotch on the top of the balcony.

"I read the card she sent, and it was beautiful, inside there was a letter. I gave you the card and you burned it! But I kept the letter hoping when you were ready to move on you could read it and not hurt. I was trying to protect you Daniel." I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. "I just wanted you to be okay." She finished quietly, while trying to reach for me.

"Don't" I hissed at her.

"WHY! I have done everything I can for you Daniel! I have been her unconditionally for you no matter what! I haven't broken you! NO! I have been trying so bloody hard to heal YOU!" she screamed at me. "I don't ask you for anything and yet you treat me like THIS?!" she looked at me with tears running down her face, but I could see her anger glowing off of her. part of me wanted to hold and comfort her like she had done for me for so long, but another part of me was burning with rage at what she had done. "You want the bloody letter?" she asked nodding she ripped it out of her bag. "HERE!" he yelled as she threw it at me. "I held onto it for almost 6 months hoping one day it wouldn't mean anything to you. But I guess I was only fooling myself." She said, while wiping the tears from her eyes. She turned on her heels and marched out the room. I made my way to the letter that landed on the floor and picked it up, and slowly made my way to sit on the bed. This used to be my mother sanctuary, and part of me felt safe here. I knew it was odd, but there was something about this room that made me feel that way. I sighed deeply and opened the letter.

_Dear Daniel, _

_I know that our parting was nothing as we imagined when we first met. I know that my card gave you my condolences, but I want you to know that I will be there if you ever need me. I write this now, for I understand what it feels like to lose a parent. The grief is so much and so hard to bear, I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but the truth is it doesn't. But the pain lessens when you are loved. I know that, because when I was with you it didn't hurt as much. I know this isn't what you want to hear. But Daniel, I'm so sorry. _

_I don't know how to say this. I loved you despite everything. I didn't care what your name was, I said yes because I saw so much good I you. I was scared of everything I was feeling, and I let myself run to the first person who offered me a way out. I wanted to stay and fight for you, but as the days passed I realized that you were becoming everything that you had promised me you would never be. That was what scared me the most. I missed the Daniel I had fallen in love with. I know I hurt you and for that I am so sorry. _

_I know it doesn't make sense, but I want you to know that as far as my feelings, I did truly fall in love you Daniel. The Daniel, which wanted so much more than the Grayson name and money. I just wanted to tell you that _Emily Thorne_, loved Daniel Grayson, not because of his name, put because he made her better in more ways than she ever wanted to admit. _Emily Thorne_, will always love Daniel Grayson. Sorry, I couldn't give them the happy ending they deserved._

_Always yours,_

_Emily._

A part of me wanted to jump with joy. But the other part of me could feel the pain that I had buried deep inside when I first noticed that I was losing Emily. I knew the tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I didn't understand. If she did truly love me then why pull away from me? Why not fight for us? I was changing? I… I knew it was true, but I was hoping she'd have enough faith in me, in us to keep it working. It hurt so much, but this letter still didn't answer the question whether or not that baby was mine. I wanted it to be mine. I wanted a chance at that life we wanted together once upon a time. It all felt so far away it hurt. I made my way over to the balcony, I need the air. There was so much to process, so much to understand. But I knew I needed to ask Emily about the baby. I saw Emily making her way to the pier as I watched her. I knew she liked it out there, it always seemed to make her smile and I never bothered to ask why. I just assumed I'd have all the time in the world to figure it out. Without taking time to actually figure out my plan I ran out the room, down the stairs and made my way over to her. Yet when I got there I couldn't make my legs move towards her, or away from her. I was stuck there, so close and yet so far.

"You should go talk to her." I heard a voice say from behind. I turned to see, Emily's doctor friend looking at me with piercing emerald eyes. I looked at her and knew that she was not happy with me.

"Is-" I took a deep breath and let it out looking a bit nervous. "-is the baby mine?" I asked her quietly. She looked eyes with me and I involuntarily shrunk under her gaze as she studied me.

"Idiot." I heard her mutter as she sighed. "Ask Emi." She took a long look at me before continuing "Look, she's been through a lot already, so don't hurt her ok. She may not admit it, but she's terrified of having that kid and not being able to protect it or love it enough. So if you really want to be a part of this then don't hurt her or the baby they deserve better." She said looking over to Emily with what seemed to be worry.

"I know all that she's been though, and I can imagine-" I began wanting to explain that I knew about Emily's past.

"Shut up." She snapped. "You don't know anything." She hissed and took a threating step forward. "Whatever it is your innocent little mind has imagined, it's nothing compared to what she went through. No matter what you think you know, you don't actually know anything at all. So don't ever try and pretend like you understand her pain, because you don't. They tore her world apart. They broke a little girl. They ripped away her dreams and destroyed her innocence. You have no idea all she's been through." In that instant I knew that Emily had left out so much of her painful past that it made me angry. I realized that I couldn't protect her of her past but I could protect her present and future.

"I won't let anyone hurt either of them." I answered her, knowing that I was making it sound more like a vow than a statement.

"Good." she said and nodded, as she stepped away from me. "My names Savannah by the way." She said as she looked over my shoulder and towards Emily. I nodded and turned to face Emily. "Bring her inside once the two of you are done talking." She said as she turned to walk away, letting her emerald eyes lock with mine. "Oh, and just in case I forgot to mention this earlier, hurt her and I swear I will hunt you down, and make you pay for it a thousand times over. She isn't without friends Grayson." she said and walked back to the beach house. Savannah was without a doubt one of the scariest yet strikingly beautiful women I had ever met. I was sure the raven haired beauty wouldn't hesitate in killing should anything ever happen to Emily. I knew it was ridiculous, but I was happy to see Emily had friends like her. I laughed a little to myself as I made my way down to Emily.

"Feeling any better?" I asked quietly.

"Daniel," she said with a small smile. "Yes, I just needed some rest." She looked over to me.

"I read the letter." I said all of a sudden, and she just looked at me as if waiting for me to continue. "I have no idea what to tell you. I loved you so much Emily. I believed in you. You were my everything; you were my blessing in-between so much, ugliness. You wanted to be with me not because of my name or money, but because you believed in me, or at least I thought you did. Do you remember the poem I first recited to you on our first date?" I asked as she looked up to me.

"_Where we love is home, _

_Home that our feet may leave, _

_But not our hearts." _ She answered quietly.

"You were _my_ home Emily. _I_ wanted a life with _you_, _I_ wanted to marry _you_, and_ I_ wanted to grow old with _you_. But you hurt me Emily. You broke my heart, and I want to know. Was it worth it?" I finally let go of everything that had been poisoning my heart.

"Daniel. I wanted all those things as well, but you weren't the same. You weren't the man that I fell for anymore." She said looking at me with misty eyes.

"Just tell me this Emily, no matter what don't lie, ok? I promise I'll believe you just be honest with me. Is the baby mine?"


End file.
